i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
