i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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