Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
