K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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