An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I supernannyed him into submission
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
