Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
