Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
