he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
