Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
