I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
