Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I need a beard to bite.
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