i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My day in three words: secret purse cake
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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