Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
