So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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