Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
