So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
