idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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