He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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