I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
