I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
