Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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