Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
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