Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
