i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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