why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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