i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
