Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
