Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
