I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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