U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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