the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Success! We fucked roommates!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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