3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
