I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
