Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
