dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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