Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
