Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
