coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
