watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i dont even know how to be here
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I have feelings that need drinking.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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