I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
