im drinking this country out of the recession.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
