That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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