Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
i out mim tonsoeep
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