The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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