just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
third nipple confirmed
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
