fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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