Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
