used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
