The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
