I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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